As of today, I am one of the bloggers working with Gather.com. I will be covering the same beat for them that I do on my other blogs, so you'll have another source for celebrity gossip, television reviews and news and movie news as well! The hottest news daily! Right now, I'm talking about the latest episodes of So You Think You Can Dance and the Zombieland cameo that is generating some buzz for that movie out tomorrow. What will I talk about next? Follow me here!

music: jack's mannequin "the resolution"

Things should be good. Things should be better than good. They should be great, and in many ways they are, but as it often happens one thing manages to screw everything else. It doesn't matter that you have so many freaking things to be happy about, you want this one thing too. Maybe I'm selfish. Maybe I want or expect too much out of people. I expect things to work our like they are meant to, but sometimes it takes me longer to realize how they are meant to work out and how I want them to work out are two entirely different things.

Friendships are hard, but relationships are harder. They are not my favorite thing. I'll admit it. I'm the quiet one in the corner. The girl that has talked to the same people for years because they have somehow managed to stick around for it all. Those are the ones that I depend on. I had one friend, a girl I met when she was 17, and she was the biggest brat. She still is, but we don't talk anymore. As much as I cared about her, it would never work. A friendship would never work, but there are still moments I'll think about her and I'll miss her.

I know how to reach out and find her if I want to. She is right at my fingertips, a quickly typed email and we would be reconnected, but I always hold back from it. I look back at the past, and no matter how good it might have been, there was too much bad. That bad outweighed everything else. This weekend was one of those times I wanted to reach out, but I didn't. Everything in my life is so crazy.

I have this friend. One I was hoping would become more, but too much going on, too much stress, and too much ... everything just got in the way. It still is. Just when I think it might be okay and it might settle down and be alright. Something else comes up. It is a circle, always repeating. The same bullshit there. I'm tempted to walk away completely. My friends tell me I'm crazy and I need to just end it all and walk away, but I'm stubborn. I don't give up easily.

It took me six years to give up on the other friend in my life. I don't want to be doing this for six years. I can't take it. My heart can't take it. I put so much into the people in my life. I put just as much into my writing and the characters I create. I love to write. I love the connections I've made while writing, and some of those people are my closest friends now. I'm one that is too often lost in my own head, lost in the characters I've created, the ones I've put time and effort and heart into, breathed them into life. I want to write more, but my moods are on a roller coaster.

I know I need to get off, but at the same time I'm not so willing to just give up and throw in the towel. I'm caught between a rock and a hard place, and I don't know how to break away without walking away completely. Doing that just hurts, and I don't want to be the girl a year ago wanting to reach out and missing someone with this new person in my life. I don't have the solution or the answers and I wish I did.

music: lifehouse "breathing"

Four and a half years ago when I first started this blog, I didn't think it would still be here. No, I don't write it in like I used to, but I want to change that. The thing I loved most about blogging is that I can say anything I want here. It is my safe place. My opinions, my thoughts, my dreams all reside here. It is me being me here. The Internet can be a crazy place. I've met a lot of people here on the Internet. I've tried to date people online, but it never seems to work. Not sure who fault that is. My own? The other side of the equation. It is hard to really tell. At the end of the day, we're all looking for someone to love us. Love us for the person we are. The good and the bad. I hide who I am a lot, but here I don't.

I'm just a woman writing a blog. I'm thirty-three years old, and I live in Arizona with my dad and my brother. We have a cat that is turning four in a few months. We didn't think he would last a month. He was a pound kitty, and he became ill the week after we brought him home. I had just him a week, but I stayed by his side until the worst of it passed. I haven't had the best of luck with cats. Bobo ran around close to four years ago now, and JJ died two years ago this month. Both broke my heart. Mikey is my little angel baby though.

I've had a lot going on the past couple of months. I've been exhausted, stressed, sick, and more. I tried and failed with someone, and now I can barely talk to her. That happens in life. I'm just tired of it happening. I'm being distracted by conversation with someone, so more soon!

And my last song to share with you is Capricorn by 30 Seconds To Mars. The group led by Jared Leto. I've been a fan of their music since I first heard Echelon played over the end credits of The Core, a movie most of you might not be familiar. I fell in love with the song though, and I am more than excited for their next record, This Is War. That should be heading into stores in October, a few weeks before the release of the latest record from my all-time favorite Bon Jovi. The Circle will hit stores on November 10th. I can't wait for either release!



Edit: This Is War release date is November 24th, and somehow my blog has been labeled as a spam blog in their system. Four years with this blog, and that is so strange.

Yes, I know this is a cover, and it is one of the best covers I've seen in quite some time. I was able to see The Fray live in concert back in July. It was one of the best shows I have seen in quite some time. This cover performed live owned me, and after just watching this video for the song, I only love it anymore. The Fray is definitely one of my top three bands, and this cover is one of the reasons.

I've been stuck on this song for close to a year now. The video is from the movie The Time Traveler's Wife, which is an amazing novel, and I loved what they did with the movie adaption. Of course, I'm a fan of Eric Bana, so that helped some. The movie had me in tears for a good thirty minutes as it came to its conclusion. The song is beautiful, and it is definitely one of my all time favorites. I've always been a huge fan of anything by Lifehouse though.

I have more to say, but I don't even know where to begin. I go through months where I have so much I want to say, but that hasn't happened in a long time. I met someone back over Christmas. We connected, and things seemed to go quite well for a few months, and all of that changed this summer. I'm not even sure how. Too much stress. Too many problems.

When there is too much of something I tend to walk away, shut off the emotion that is there and move on. I know that isn't the healthiest thing to do, but it is what I do. I focus on my work, what little of it that I do have, and that is that. I haven't even been listening to music much lately, and that was something I always used to do. Things are just changing. Maybe I should post some of the songs I have been stuck on lately. I'll do that in a bit.

Here we are on September 1st. I know I haven't been doing very well at keeping this blog up like I used to be! I'm sorry for that. I'm still here. Still around. Been occupying myself with other things. Life, writing, people, an attempt at a relationship that I'm not quite sure worked, but what can you do? I'm still trying to figure that one out. There are good days, and there are bad days. I'm sure we've all experienced those. I'm going to make an effort to bring this blog back to life now. I think its time.

I miss writing here, and I know I've gone quiet, but I'm now going to make an effort to change that. This blog has been there for me since 2005. I've gone through employment with various sites since that time, but this blog hasn't gone anywhere. It is only the time that was lacking. The time I put elsewhere to focus on other things.

Now I need to put my focus back here. This blog is never going anywhere. It is my home here on the Internet. The place where I've shared all of my thoughts. My successes and my down times. All of that is in this blog. I'm actually feeling good about my writing right now. Not everything is positive, but as it in my life not all of life is good.

I need to focus on the good in life, and that has always been how I've been. I miss writing fiction. I actually thought of a few ideas. Some fan fiction. Some not. We'll see what I can crank out. I need to take advantage of life when I can.

It has been awhile since I checked in here. Life has been keeping me busy lately. Today I thought my cat had broke my computer. I came home from an afternoon out with my dad, and my computer wouldn't turn out. He had somehow loosened the wire for my monitor from the back of my computer. Not sure how he did that, but it took me 10 minutes to figure out he had, and another fifteen for the computer to work. Animals can be a pain, but I love my cat. A lot. This afternoon's trip was a day out with dad to the church fair. The economy has even hit the churches because prices are high. Promise to be better about this.

Yes, I know it has been some time since I've been here. I'm still here. January is just not a good month for me at all. In fact, it is safe to say that I hate the month of January completely. Although my birthday is in the mix, it is just a bad month.

It wasn't so bad this month, but still not great. I always breathe this whole sigh of relief when the month is over. So I'm still here. I need to live more I know. I am definitely working on that now. Between the month, issues at work and family issues, I've just been drained beyond belief. It happens to the best of us.

First, it was the flu. Then the men in the house caught colds, and they decided to share them with me. Yes, I know! How thoughtful of them. That explains why I have been so missing in action the last couple of weeks. I've been busy enough just trying to work and nap in breaks. I hate getting sick. I know we all hate getting sick, but I really hate it.

Things have been quiet for the most part. I've been working, writing and keeping myself busy anyway I can. My dad fell in the shower back on Saturday, so he's going to the doctor today. You want to talk about a loud crash?! There was one when he fell. New people moved into my old apartment next door. It's kind of weird knowing someone else is sitting in my bedroom and staring at my ceiling.

I know it really isn't my bedroom anymore, but I lived there for thirteen years. That is a really long time, and when I saw someone had moved in, it was just an odd feeling. It will pass. I like my new apartment. Remember all those problems I used to have with my cable internet dropping every morning - right around this time actually, 10-11am? Don't have those any more. My connection hasn't dropped once since September actually. It is the small things really.

Been out of it for a bit. I was sick the last time I wrote in here, and then Monday morning I woke up sick with the flu. I thought I might even have to go to the emergency room or doctor at some point. I was that sick. I'm on the mend now thankfully, but it was one tough week. I spent most of the first three days in bed, and the last two days wanting to be in bed. I don't have that complete luxury though. I've had work to do. Work needs to get done.

I do have some good news though. On Monday, I was hired on to run two new celebrity gossip sites. These are a bit most focused than what I'm doing currently. I'm the new writer behind All Things Britney and All Things Lindsay. Two of the biggest pop princesses with lives that just need following. Both have new CD's on the way out, and if they aren't doing something their families are. I'm excited to be given the chance to talk about them both and share them with my readers.

I'm still as busy as ever with Celebrity Today and Teevieo as well. I have some plans coming up for Celebrity Today in the weeks ahead. More DVD reviews, and some great giveaways too. If you're someone that follows that blog, you'll be in on all the action. Right now, I need to get back to work. It never ends!

That was me yesterday. I didn't feel well at all. I did what I needed to do, and then I grabbed a DVD and laid in bed off and on until I felt better. Well, at least I had a new DVD to keep me occupied.

Yesterday, I received the box set for The 4400 in the mail to review for Celebrity Today.  I'd heard a lot about the series, but I had never found the time to watch it. I was able to watch season one yesterday, and I am continuing on today with season two.

Good news on the home front. We might have a car in the house by the end of the day. Never know how much you miss a car until you don't have one. I don't drive, but my family does. Makes it so much easier to go places when you have a car!

I feel much better today. Not perfect, but better. Back to work with me!

Today while I was doing my daily Entrecard drops, I came across a post titled 10 reasons your blog sucks. A bit of a strong statement, but some blog aren't as fancy as others. Some do this clearly just for fun, and are not serious about it. They pop in when they can.

After reading the list though, I discovered blogs that did one or more of the things on the list. I'll even be honest and say I've done a few of those things on the list myself. We are guilty of letting our blogs go from time to time. Life gets in the way.

I was thinking about it, and I've had this blog going for nearly four years now. That is a long time. I'm not sure how long I'll keep this blog going. I always seem to have something to say. I have my quiet moments to though. I think everyone is like that at the end of the day. We all have our moments.

I'm sure we are all used to the phone ringing non-stop these days. The election calls are coming, and those won't stop until election day. The advertising ones get to me the most. There are ways to stop the calls, but does it really work? Today, I found this site that lets you report phone numbers you get called from, Report Annoying Callers. I think this makes it easier to block these numbers from being able to call you. Some of the descriptions of the calls made are frank and honest. Some are harassing.

Just this morning, I received a phone call from someone. All the man said was hi. Nothing else. Strangest thing ever really. I tried saying hi again and talking to the man, but he didn't say one more thing. Weird!

How long does it take you to get out of bed in the morning?: Usually only a minute or two. Unless I see its before 7am, then I stay in bed. I don't like being up before it is light out!

Do you usually sleep on one side of the bed or another?: I sleep right in the middle of my bed!

Something you wish to accomplish before the end of the year: I want to be writing for another site or two. I want to write another story too.


Another Monday. Where do the weeks go? Last week, I was sick. I have stomach issue. Stress related ones, and there were a few stressful things last week. This week is a new week, and I cut down on a few things that were overwhelming me a bit. I needed to prioritize a bit. Something we all need to do once in awhile I think. Right now, I'm ready for bed!